Life is never a straightforward line. It has many ups and downs, lefts and rights, and sometimes it is hard to know where in the world we are headed. Sometimes something that seems like a good thing can still cause anxiety or pain. It could be that we are pursuing something we shouldn’t, or God is using that good thing to put us through tests to refine us. It can be so hard to stay focused on the the fact that though all the turbulence, God is still fully in control. Each sharp right and steep climb or quick descent is all carefully crafted by his loving hands.
I have shared a lot of my struggles over the past year or so with job changes and the emotional struggles that can come along with those, whether that is the stress of losing your job or a job that you dislike, or having to start over somewhere. I have still struggled with anxieties surrounding my new job even thought I know the Lord has led me to this position and has blessed me with it. Just the other day I was lying in bed doing my nightly prayers when I said, “Lord, why does it have to be so hard? When will it get easier?”.
Then the Spirit slapped me right in the face (as is his usual tactic) and he said to me, “Look at the things you have gone through this past year (August 2021 - August 2022). Do you think all of those trials just came out of nowhere? Do you think that there wasn’t a purpose in everything that was placed in your path? The three years prior to this was your time to wait, now it is your time to grow”. I knew in that moment that he was right (which he obviously is every time, just FYI), and as that revelation washed over me I thought about all the different lessons the Lord had been trying to teach me, ways he was trying to refine me, or change bad habits in me. “Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life” (Psalm 139:24).
Some of the lessons I have walked through over the past year are:
How to be flexible with my daily routine and not be so rigid. Doing what needs to get done even if that means I need to give up something more comfortable to do it. Or doing something for someone else as an act of service, even if it is inconvenient for me or doesn’t fit into my “schedule”.
Pushing through difficult circumstances and not giving up when things get hard. Trusting that the Lord has a purpose in it all.
Working though the fact that I am indeed a perfectionist - I like to get everything right on the first try (even if it is something new) and become extremely frustrated and irritable when I ultimately make a mistake. I know this one is difficult for my husband because he doesn’t like seeing me give up and be so hard on myself. He always encourages me to keep trying, and that with practice you become more skilled at different things. And developing new skills does indeed take time! One of the biggest areas I struggle with this is cooking, since I am still new to cooking on a regular basis.
Building relationships and loneliness. I just shared all about this in my last blog (check it out if you haven’t already - it is titled, “You Are Not Alone”). That is a more recent hurdle I have been learning to overcome.
I have struggled with selfishness a lot over the last year, and that fits in with struggling to be flexible and my issues with perfectionism.
Trusting that God will provide for my every need. That I don’t have to focus on my ability to provide and that wherever this crazy path of life takes me God will make sure I have everything I need.
And those are just the ones I distinctly remember! I am sure the Lord has worked in so many more little ways that I may have even not noticed. Not every change in us has to be like pulling teeth.
If you struggle with any of those things like I do, I feel you. I get you. This is a safe place to be open and honest with ourselves. That is what I try to do here every week with all of you. I try to be open about the struggles I have in order to maybe encourage someone who is walking through the same thing, or open your eyes to something maybe you haven’t seen yet.
My point is sharing all of this is to remind you that no matter what path your life takes, our God is always in control. We need to keep our hearts and minds focused on him. “Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take” (Proverbs 3:6). There are so many lessons to learn, and through it all God is transforming us into the person he wants us to become. This is not an easy feat, and he never says it will be. We need to trust that the path he is taking us on is leading us to where we need to be, or at the very least it is giving him the opportunity to work in us and make us more like Christ.
Where are you at in your path right now? Are you on a plateau or have you been riding the rollercoaster for some time now? I really encourage you that no matter which part you are at, to start trusting or continue to trust what the Lord has planned for you. I promise in the end it will be so, so good.
“Show me the right path, O Lord; point our the road for me to follow” (Psalm 25:4)
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