If you read my most recent blog post, you know that recently I have been struggling with my job situation. And to everyone who has been praying and supporting me through it, I am so grateful and appreciative of your care for me. It’s been about a month since that last post, and I wanted to share some hard truths that I have been learning, and how accepting those truths has helped me start to turn things around.
First of all, one of the most important things I realized was that I was actively running against God’s plan for me. He was putting me in a situation where I was being forced to grow and change in ways I was very comfortable, and of course I didn’t want that - I wanted to remain exactly as comfortable as I have always been. Because I was feeling so much hurt, I was attributing it to my job, and not the fact that I was refusing to change and surrender to what God was trying to do with me. It took me being broken all the way to rock bottom to realize the only thing I was doing was hurting my own self, being my own worst enemy. Because I was refusing to change and be uncomfortable, I was creating additional, unnecessary pain for myself that maybe I wouldn’t have had to walk through had I been solely reliant on God and truly trusted that whatever he was having me walk through was for my good. He was absolutely forcing me to go outside of my comfort zone, and I was not having it. Coincidentally enough, the last post I wrote before starting this job was about this exact same topic. Read the post here: https://nosmallservant.wixsite.com/website/post/warning-comfort-zone
Secondly, I was making my job the center of my universe. I was letting that be the thing that controlled my emotions, my relationships with other people, and most importantly how I viewed my relationship with the Lord. But you know who should be at the center of your universe? Jesus. (Another shameless plug for another one of my past posts: https://nosmallservant.wixsite.com/website/post/who-is-at-the-center-of-your-universe). I have begun to shift my focus and my priorities to put Jesus back as the center of my life, and allowing everything else to flow from that. “I once thought these things were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done” (Philippians 3:7).
It will help improve my marriage, and how I relate to my job in general. It will help me always refocus on the fact that the Lord brought me to this place, and no matter what happens or how much is going on that he is fully in control of all of it. That even when there are difficult circumstances, he can give me the wisdom and strength to do the task ahead of me, or to ask the right questions to get it done.
If you were or are still in the same boat that I was, I really encourage you to run to the Lord and ask him to help reprioritize your life. Ask for encouragement and prayer from those around you that you trust the most. Be open and honest about your struggles so you can continue to move forward. I know that it will be a tough road, and it will still take focus and effort to prevent myself from slipping back into those old habits and mindset. But I have realized that surrendering to the Lord and leaning into him with everything I have will help me become the woman of God he has called/wants me to be.
“I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us” Philippians 3:12-14
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